The Fashion Girls Are Fighting!
Tavi Gevinson astutely drags Karlie Kloss, Lana Del Rey defends herself against nothing, a new industry plant arrives, and more from last week rated Top Shelf to Low Brow
Trying to keep up with the best, worst, and silliest of pop culture news but too bogged down by “unstoppable existential dread”? You’re covered, subscribe to get Top Shelf, Low Brow right to your inbox twice a week.
Hello and welcome to the Monday letter, where we have a giggle and a laugh while coming together to rate pop culture occurrences from the past week from Top Shelf to Low Brow. Uh…..anything happen last week? Just kidding, we’re all in Hell! Two things I am happy to report on, though:
I’m getting back into sriracha after once buying sriracha-flavored vodka (first mistake) on sale for $7 (second mistake) in 2016 and having the flavor so ruined for me that I couldn’t taste it for four years without gagging.
I’m finally coming out of my post-Christmas depression, though while I write this I am watching Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer and drinking a festive bourbon vanilla crème coffee — flavored, not spiked, though I could use it after last week.
If there’s anything that can distract us, even momentarily, from plummeting further into despair after an attempted coup in the final weeks of, arguably, the most domestically dangerous presidency of all time, it’s Xanax. But because I have shitty health insurance that I committed to after being shuffled around on the phone for an hour on my 26th birthday in June, I’m settling for a little dose of pop culture — which is why I’m making this Monday letter free for everyone. This week, there were more moments than I could even keep track of (and some of which I can’t address in this forum because they’re so messy and I still need full-time employment). But this week we’ve got more than enough to dissect, so we should get into it before another once-in-a-lifetime historical event happens.
Top Shelf, Low Brow: January 4 – January 10
Tavi Gevinson Gobbles Karlie Kloss Right On Up
Tavi Gevinson has been an icon of culture and fashion since she was less than five feet tall. When Gevinson attended the Dior haute couture show in 2010 sporting steel-grey hair under a giant bow on her head, a 13-year-old blogger blocking the view of the runway from seasoned fashion industry professionals, she made it clear she wasn’t to be fucked with. It’s the reason I never tried to talk to her when I would see her around 300 Ashland, the building she was paid to promote on Instagram and where I had three different dogs to walk on my route – I’ve lived 10 lives, Tavi has lived approximately 26. When I’d see her very briefly in passing, holding a dog in my arms because the building had a No Dogs in the Lobby policy (insane, especially for a building directly connected to a Whole Foods — the corruption is coming from inside the co-op!), she carried an air of effortless coolness and intelligence about her at all times.
So when Karlie Kloss, Gevinson’s former typically-pretty white model friend and current Kushner-adjacent annoyance took to Twitter to make a statement nobody asked for, it’s not surprising Gevinson saw right through it.
“Accepting the results of a legitimate democratic election is patriotic,” Karlie wrote. “Refusing to do so and inciting violence is anti-American.” Kloss, who is used to being dragged on the regular for being Ivanka Trump’s sister-in-law after marrying Jared Kushner’s brother last year, was called out once again in her replies. “Tell your sister in law and brother [in] law,” someone said, to which Karlie promptly replied with, “I’ve tried.”
Anyone with an internet connection and a peripheral knowledge of the situation can tell that’s bullshit. You know, that’s why Kloss and the more-normal-looking Kushner bought a house just minutes away from Ivanka Trump and the Kushner that looks like the evil doll from The Boy, to keep trying to convince her to change!
Naturally, Gevinson took to Instagram to deliver an incredibly concise yet appropriately ruthless response, laying into Kloss for everything she’s worth and years of carefully-manicured hypocrisy:
Along with being the original influencer, Gevinson has just proved her place as a contending heavy-hitter character on the new Gossip Girl reboot, which I am contractually obligated with myself to talk about in almost every newsletter. 2021 has some good things in store yet!
(Rating: Top Shelf)
Lana Del Rey Stricken With Another Case of Foot-Mouth Disease
After “Question for the culture,” you’d think Lana Del Rey would be more careful to think, proofread, delete, and rewrite everything she’s going to post at least twice before she posts it. And yet, we’re back here again.
After unveiling the cover art for her long-teased new album Chemtrails Over The Country Club, Del Rey immediately took to her own Instagram comments to make a statement before anyone could even say anything about it. Discussing her group of friends on the front cover, Del Rey said, “yes there are people of color on this records [sic] picture and that’s all I’ll say about that.”
It was not all she would say about that.
“My beautiful friend Valerie from Del Rio Mexico, my dearest friend Alex and my gorgeous friend Dakota Rain as well as my sweetheart Tatiana,” Del Rey said, listing off her nonwhite friends joining her on the cover, making them seem much more like props to dress the set next to her and less like longtime pals.
“In 11 years of working I have always been extremely inclusive without even trying to,” she wrote. Okay, true, I suppose.
“My best friends are rappers.” Uh…
“My boyfriends have been rappers.” Oh my god.
It now becomes clear that Del Rey feels targeted before anyone could even target her, and instead of taking any backlash with a grain of salt or simply just feeling secure in using a photo of her and her friends, she jumped immediately to her own defense without even thinking (or using proper grammar).
I don’t pretend to know what is going on in Del Rey’s head, but if I had to guess, I’d say she has felt herself an attempted victim of cancel culture before it was even really a thing, and it’s not even really a thing now. After spending so many years being lambasted in the industry for being too sad, too normal-looking, too interested in her own artistic style, it’s not surprising that Del Rey is immediately defensive of her art before anyone can even take offense. Perhaps all of that has made Del Rey so keen on the way people perceive her that she’s quick to stick her foot in her mouth before anyone even asks her a question. But after an equal amount of years talking about how much she doesn’t care, how she likes to have complete creative control of every melody and lyric and piece of art she puts out, it certainly seems like she is still affected by the public’s idea of her.
Why a woman whose last album was named by nearly every publication as the best album of 2019 – the same person who included the lyric “My pussy tastes like Pepsi cola” on her second album ever – is still overly concerned with how people view her is beyond me. I wish she wasn’t, and that she didn’t feel she had to be, because her inane statements make it difficult to be such a fan of her work.
[Speaking of, I’m just listening to the new single as this letter is going to press. It’s so good, a lovely and lilting melodic tune, exactly what Lana does best. It makes her comments from last night all the more obnoxious and strange.]
(Rating: Low Brow)
Taylor’s New (Old) Capital One ad
Okay, I just realized upon looking this up that this ad is actually two months old but I’m going to talk about it anyway because I only just saw it for the first time this week. This ad makes no sense to me. Taylor Swift doing ads for Capital One makes no sense to me. Taylor Swift doing brand endorsements at all anymore makes no! sense! to me! It’s not even because she has all the money in the world, I just find something very…soulless about Taylor Swift hocking big banking to people. Why? I can’t picture Taylor, so in love with the way Capital One handles money and the amount of APRs or IPAs or Roth PCPs they offer that she says, “You know what? I will do this deal! Swifties, bank with Capital One!”
I know that endorsements with big bank corporations are often part of a larger set of deals revolving around popstar tours and sponsorships. They’re certainly not uncommon in the industry. But for Taylor Swift, it just seems strange and unnecessary. These ads for Big Capitalism kind of pull me out of the dreamy woods of her last two albums, reminding me that at the end of the day, Swift is still a megamillionaire. I appreciate the easter eggs hidden in the ad, quick nods towards lyrics from folklore, but bank deals still just feel weird to me. Maybe it’s because I know that Swifties will buy anything, making me almost certain one of them switched to Capital One just to get this horrendous blanket that came with an exclusive Capital One folklore bundle. Sorry, it just can’t compare to the Free Woman blanket!
(Rating: Low Brow)
And Just Like That…Sex and the City is Officially Returning
Well, that was far quicker than I imagined. Just two weeks ago I talked about the possibility of Sex and the City returning for a limited series on HBO Max and now it’s official. Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, and Kristin Davis will all be returning to reprise their roles of Carrie, Miranda, and Charlotte, respectively. Noticeably but unsurprisingly missing is Kim Cattrall, who spent the better part of the last decade reiterating her lack of interest in reprising Samantha Jones, one of the most iconic television characters of all time.
Like I said before, will I miss Samantha? Absolutely. Will I still be watching? Of fucking course. You can’t expect me to reject something that might be able to give me even one ounce of joy, just a morsel of sweet, sweet serotonin rush into my prefrontal cortex (doctors reading this don’t comment, no I don’t know anything about anatomy).
I do hope that Darren Star and Michael Patrick King take the care to write Samantha out of the show with something a little less obvious than just “the cancer came back.” Such an important character deserves to go out with a bang because there’s nothing Samantha Jones loved more than a good bang! In fact, maybe one day Samantha just came so hard that her soul left her body, leaving this earthly plane forever for a new, euphoric state. Would death by sex be such a bad way to go?
Just can’t believe that we’re getting Sex and the City and Gossip Girl back in the same. year. Sure, we could talk all day about how there are a million other ideas out there being passed up for reboots of old shows. Normally, I’d agree with you. But right now, I need this. We need this! I don’t know what I did to deserve two of the most formative shows of my youth returning at the same time, but once again I am certain I’m one of God’s favorites.
(Rating: Top Shelf)
We Have a New Industry Plant!
This week, Olivia Rodrigo released a new single! Who is Olivia Rodrigo? I don’t know either! And you’d be forgiven for not knowing. She’s a Disney girl branching out after being shuffled around network productions since 2018. Back in my day, there was real, ravenous demand for solo music from the likes of Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan, and if you want the hype to last, you better put on your Steve Madden cherry-brown riding boots and macrame cardigan and walk out onto that TRL stage and work for that day’s #1 video. Today, you conjure up a song that sounds like a factory-made cross between Lorde and Billie Eilish and suddenly it mysteriously tops several digital charts and gets promoted by the largest Twitter accounts that cover pop culture. With the constant barrage of new music available to us every day of the week, it gets harder and harder to make a new artist stand out…unless of course, their debut single is put out “independently” under their own name but with an exclusive license to Geffen Records, owned by UMG, which has some of the deepest pockets in the biz.
Rodrigo’s song is called “drivers license,” stylized in all lowercase, of course, to liken herself to the “positions” and “champagne problems” of the world. It’s a decent song, Rodrigo has an undeniably lovely voice that lends itself to the kind of music she’s creating. But it all feels so perfectly packaged, so specifically influenced by other artists, that it screams Industry Plant – almost in a way that’s so obvious it’s almost admirable. Even the cover art is designed to look distinctly similar to the wave of trendy Instagram infographics popping up across the platform since last summer, making Rodrigo seem like she’s doing this all herself from her the confines of her bedroom.
It would be foolish not to keep your eye on Olivia Rodrigo, because she’ll surely be everywhere in just a few short months. And that’s fine, but sometimes I long for the days when our brains could just be molded by money-hungry industry overlords into “loving” a new song without being so aware of the relentless push behind it.
(Rating: Top Shelf/Low Brow (the rare “I’m middling about this but wish her well!” rating!)
Pretend It’s a City Restores the Soul
After watching all of The Queen’s Gambit a few months ago (and then immediately hitting play on the first episode again after I finished the finale), I was reminded how good Netflix originals can be. Done right, they’re full of warmth, heart, and unique storytelling that really jumps off the screen in a way that other streaming-commissioned originals can’t necessarily repiclate due to budget constraints. So I’m pleased to say that with the incredibly delightful Pretend It’s a City, Netflix has won me back fully.
In Pretend It’s a City, writer/humorist/one of the all-time greats Fran Lebowitz sits down with her longtime friend Martin Scorsese to expand on the subjects covered in their 2010 documentary Public Speaking while dwelling on the things that make New York, and Lebowitz’s observations of it, so indelible.
I found all seven episodes of the docuseries to be a wonderful gift, a perfect salve to the wounds from last week — great Saturday morning coffee fare. Lebowitz’s caustic wit is just as sharp as ever but completely imbued with such love for every subject she discusses. Whether she’s ripping on the fascinating hellscape that is New York City public transit or talking about her disdain for sports as a whole, it’s always clear how much appreciation Lebowitz has for all of these things that are so a part of daily life. And on the sidelines is Scorsese, guffawing just about every time Lebowitz takes a breath. Watching these two friends converse about their shared memories of one of the world’s greatest cities was so restoring that it filled me with enough inspiration and energy to get through this week. That is this week. The jury is still out on the next one.
There’s one other thing that’s certain too: I deeply “miss” New York. The thing that I’ve said to people most in the last ten months, besides that I wish I could see my family and friends, is that living in New York without being able to live in New York is like being bogged down by all the worst parts of the city. The rents are high, everything’s expensive, travel isn’t easy, there are too many people, everyone’s only looking out for themselves, etc. None of the things that initially made living here so enticing are available right now – I can’t even sink into a chair at Alamo Drafthouse to lose myself in a truffle popcorn and a movie for two hours, I have to make my own specialty snacks!
But Pretend It’s a City was enough to remind me of both New York’s continued resiliency and my own. Fran Lebowitz’s eye for what makes this damn town so alluring, even in its worst moments, was exactly what I needed as we draw nearer to one year of the pandemic. Do I still think about moving to Maine every single day? Absolutely. But will I always miss New York every time I leave, even if I do decide to make my home somewhere else one day? Undoubtedly.
(Rating: Top Shelf)
Well, that’s it for this week! I hope you all stay well, wherever these next seven days may bring us. So glad that so many of you are loving The Fabulous Farce of Fergie Ferg, part two will be out on a Friday in the near future!
Oh! I almost forgot, Kim and Kanye are reportedly divorcing. Um. I have no opinions on that either way. I think it’s good that she can get out of that insane house made entirely out of cement before someone trips in the night getting a glass of water and ends up in Intensive Care for a month. Just kidding! They have people who get water for them.